The Master Guide to Giving A Great Blowjob

Whether you are a pro at giving head or still learning the ropes, we’ve got you covered. Follow this walkthrough of how to give an amazing blow job to leave you feeling extra confident going down on your partner. 

Please note, this exercise is meant to teach blowjobs to anyone no matter if it is with a penis, strapon, practicing with a banana, or any delicious phallic object of your choice. I will be using the term ‘cock’ to describe whatever you are practicing on.:)

If You Enjoy It, They’ll Enjoy It

I find this to be the most important thing to remind ourselves in any sexual and intimate practice. This act is just as much about you as it is about them! By beginning with your own curiosity, your own primal energy and staying in your turn on, your partner will feel that energy and whatever you are doing will be super hot and juicy. Take your time and have fun!

Communication Is Key 

If you already know that there is something you are hesitant or are sensitive about you can begin by sharing your boundaries lovingly. For example, if you don’t like cum in your mouth, say “Tell me when you are going to cum. It turns me on when you cum on xyz instead of in my mouth”. You can also share tips such as: “I love it when you hold my hair but not when you push my head down” and “It’s super sexy for me when you put on a condom, you want me to watch you put it on or may I have the honor?”

Always remember the more feedback or openness in your communication flow, the more intimacy you build. 

Plus, if you’re not getting responses and are feeling unsure about the situation, the best way to know is to ask! Sounds simple, but of course in the practice we all know that stopping to ask can make us feel nervous or self conscious. Remember that asking is only going to give your partner exactly what they want, and bring you closer to them by understanding their desires. You can ask in a sexy way, or using dirty talk, for example: “How can I make this even better?”. You can also take a more direct route with something like: “Do you like it when I suck here with firm or light pressure?” or “Do you like it when I use my hands while I’m sucking or do you prefer just my mouth?”. Providing options and examples will help you gain specific feedback rather than yes or no answers. 

The Nitty, Gritty Details

Spit or Swallow

This is the main question you may be wondering if you’re giving head to a penis. So just ask yourself: What are you comfortable with? How well do you know the partner?

If you don’t want to swallow a mouthful of cum, a sexier alternative is to encourage your partner to cum on your chest, ass, face, or belly. 

Handling Foreskin

Dealing with foreskin can be a really fun and new place to explore. Here are a few tips to do so with confidence and care.. 

  • Try pulling the skin up over his cock and licking the inside of the foreskin as a tease before going all the way down.
  • Once he is erect, make the foreskin taut, wrapping your thumb and forefinger around the shaft of the cock just above the scrotum, then pull it down to the scrotum. This makes the skin tighter and can increase sensitivity to the head and upper parts of the penis. It could even cause an orgasm faster as the sensation will increase. 

Now, what you’ve all been waiting for…

The Step by Step Guide to Giving the Best Blowjob Ever

Start by connecting with your partner.

Put your hand directly on their cock. Look them in the eyes, ask if you can taste them. 

Alternatively, if you want to start slow, begin by teasing and building more sensual connection prior to the act. Start off with some kisses, licks and dirty talk. You can say things like: 

“I’ve been waiting patiently all day to lick every inch of you” or “It’s your turn to relax, lay back and enjoy some full body attention”

As you’re whispering these little suggestions in their ear, gently graze their chest, hips and inner thighs with your fingertips. 

As you feel their body undulating and asking for more, then take the next step.  

Licking your way down slowly, from their lips to their bits. Let yourself become aroused in the act, and be sure to take your time. Give them a tease by coming back up to meet their eyes for a moment and give them a a kiss on the lips or neck before making your way back down. 

Move your own body, if you feel yourself getting super turned on you can even place their hand on your genitals or place your own hand there and warm yourself up in the process.

Once you get to their cock, give it a squeeze with your hand. Feel it. Feel your own desire building by being connected to this hard, sensual erogenous zone. 

Now begin to lick around the area, the thighs, the hips. Teasing can be so useful as you can take breaks to truly build anticipation and desire.  

If they are still soft, this can actually be one of the most pleasurable moments. Lick and put the entire soft cock in your mouth and feel it get hard. Have some lube or oil close by to incorporate with your hands in addition to your mouth. 

Wrap one hand around the shaft of the cock. Using the entire hand or just the thumb and pointer finger (like the okay gesture👌). This positioning will allow you to stroke at the same tempo as the up and down motion of your mouth. 

Feel free to use varying degrees of pressure. You can swivel and corkscrew around the shaft, keeping rhythm. Use your free hand to graze and connect with other parts of the body, such as the balls, perineum, inner thighs, nipples and mouth. 

Blowjobs are not one-size-fits-all. Like all types of sex, oral sex is a skill that is cultivated over time. Knowing that, it’s important to be attune to your partner. Notice the way their body moves, if their eyes close, if they begin to moan and push into you. These are signs and ways to connect to them in order to understand what is turning them on.

Use your tongue. Roll the cock around in your mouth, licking and sucking. This time, tap into your mindfulness and pay attention to your partner. Try a technique, and see how they respond.  Alternate between a few techniques to see which elicits the response you are looking for and then stay there!  

If your jaw or mouth begins to tire, you can switch to just using your hands. It can be really HOT to just stare at the cock like it’s the most delicious thing in the world. When your jaw relaxes again, go back in for more mouth and lip and suck action. 

Learn to find your rhythm and enjoy the pace. Remember that when you are at your most comfortable and truly into it, you are in a flow state. Before you know it your cock will be worshiping you right back 😉 

 

Bonus: Pleasure Spots + Party Tricks

Pleasure Spots

  • The frenulum, the tiny, narrow piece of tissue that runs from the bottom of the penis head (glans) to the bottom of the shaft, use your tongue to lick, flick, tease this area will highly increase pleasure. 
  • The crown, lick the edge of the rim of the head, you can use your tongue and finger for this, while simultaneously gazing in your lover’s eyes. 

 

Party Tricks

    • What I like to call the sacred suck: let a little air out then pull up down creates suction.
    • Use your nipples! This is a great way to take the pressure off your mouth and jaw and offer some different sensory experiences. The skin of the nipples are super soft and can often be mistaken for the lips
    • I often hear so many people be concerned about it getting messy, drippy, and loud. Honestly- this can be the hottest part. When you are really into an act, there is no thought of how it looks or sounds. That’s what is so hot, it’s like you are deliciously devouring with love and attention. Spit is a natural lube. Use it to your advantage 😉
    • If you need a break or your not feeling as into it any more, it’s perfectly fine to let them help then you can kiss or lick the testicules as they reach the peak, you can also transition to penetrative sex, mutual masturbation or anal.
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Aftercare

We all love some sweet loving attention after doing the deed. Firstly, take care of yourself… I mean you did just put in all of that good work after all. Have a towel near by, spit, rinse, etc. Then you can get a washcloth wet with warm water, ring it out and gently clean up your partner (if you’re practicing on one). Afterwards, feel free to cuddle, move on to other sex acts, or take yourself a nice, long much-deserved bath. 

Meet the author...

Meet the author...

Simone Farschi is a sex and intimacy coach serving women, men, non-binary individuals, and couples in California and throughout the world. After traveling throughout the world and birthing her son, realizing the importance of developing one’s connection to self and feminine collective she continued her studies as a Certified Vinyasa Yoga teacher, Certified Life Coach, as well as trained as a Doula, Meditation Leader, Somatica practitioner, Sexological Bodyworker, and with Betty Dodson.

Simone is also Founder of The Pleasure Plus, an online community and membership that brings women together to access deeper intimacy and to build confidence through somatic embodiment practices, ancient rituals, and neuroscience in a safe and inspiring container where we can communicate confidently and openly our desires and needs. We come together to learn how to have fulfilling and emotionally intelligent relationships, be empowered and secure in our bodies, be authentically ourselves, trust our decisions, have more time to do what we want — becoming more magnetic, radiant and fulfilled in all aspects of our lives.